Hesitate your next move. Take a moment to stand by. I'm dropping everything I'm doing right now to re-evaluate my stand point in life. Things I thought I wanted haven't changed much. The love I have for people hasn't changed much. I make changes everyday. Rather I'm switching up my routine, thinking in an others perspective, or even something as simple as changing up my brush strokes while brushing my teeth. I'm always trying to do new things because I never know if when I do how much I will like or dislike the outcome. While engaging in my moment of assessment I look back 5 years ago. Where was I ? I'm 18, freshly broken hearted, don't give a damn about the world, if someone as much as looks at me the wrong way I beat them to an inch of their life, and I was tired. I was so exhausted of worrying about drama and romantic relationships and paying bills. I was burned out of being judged for my line of work at that age,as an exotic dancer. I was drained of wondering where life was going to take me. Back then I had a reckoning with myself. I learned that nothing would ever change if I didn't change it up myself. Till this day, I don't regret any past decisions I've made because I've turned out the way I wanted to so far. The most drama I have in my life is when someone mistakes something on facebook, I don't get heartbroken anymore because I expect the worse and hope for the best, I pray, I don't wear a chip on my shoulder because I'm scared of my own insecurities, I live everyday scared of what tomorrow holds because I just want to make it to tomorrow. Five years from now I may be married with children of my own, more responsibilities regardless the fact, and I'll still feel the way I do today. Anxious, Scared, Optimistic, but most of all Blessed because I made it there thanks to myself.
Buenos Noches my little Stalkers, I'll feed you chickens another day. =)
