Cracking The Seal

Since the day I packed my things and blew out of that house like a tornado blows through a corn field, I've missed you. All day and all night I can't get you off my mind. I keep replaying from start to end our journey together and by far the good times out weigh the bad. I cant help but feel sorrow now that I'm no longer there. I miss you like a candle misses the flame. I'm sorry if I ever broke your heart. Mine was in pieces. I still havent patched it together. You've always been my number 1 and for our relationship to do a complete 360 just rips my heart to shreds. I'd rather have a bullet to my brain or a razor to my wrist than to miss you everyday like I do. I wish I could call you and make sure your ok. Just even a hello would make my day. But I can't. I can't because when I left we weren't speaking. The image of your face burns in my mind. I could see hate, sorrow and sadness floating in the vodka filled eyes you seemed to look through me with. Release me. Call me. Erase the memory of our fall out or erase the memory of me all together. Ill always love you. Ill always be the one who cares most even if I pretend I don't care at all. You'll always be the light in my hallway. Lighting the path to which ever door I want to open in life rather you know it or not. You've always been my motivation. You've always been my heart. I fear that I can't do much more in life after you depart into the unknown where our faith and will is tested seeing as how I can't do anything without you. As a God fearing woman with no specific beliefs in religion I pray for you. I pray your lasting time is spent with no further regrets, heartaches, strains, troubles or disappointments. You may believe I should be the first to commence in the breaking of the ice but I fore warn you that if anyone should at this time then it should be you to do so for my strength and weight are not up to par for breaking anything other than the seal of on 89 merlot. In no way am I claiming you should be the first one to come forth first but instead enlightening you that if that's what you're waiting on then I can only hope you're not holding your breath. I make my own decisions and stand by whatever I may choose to decide. I'm traveling this world and seeing as much and meeting as many and doing whatever I can before I let life trap me into the commitments of permanent responsobilities. My place is not at home but who's to say it won't ever be one day? At this time I take my optimism to a whole new level by taking the traumatic confrontation that still hangs it's hat in your home by embracing the no strings, clean break it has presented to me. I'll carry you in my heart but only as a whisperred secret that is not to be spoken of until we speak to one another again. Days,weeks, months or even years it may take. Then again, the possibilitly of never could rear it's ugly head. You take the time you need while giving me the time I need for myself. I'll see you on the shores of Heart's Desire if our time expires too soon. Buenos Noches my little chickens until I feed you another night. :)